By Harriet Lerner
While The Dance of Deception was once released, Lerner came across that ladies weren't wanting to establish with the topic. ''Well, i do not do deception'' used to be a standard resonse.
We all ''do deception'', frequently to be able to safeguard ourselves and the relationships we rely on. The Dance of Deception unravels the methods (and whys) that ladies convey the fake and conceal the true -- even to our personal selves. We see how relationships are plagued by mendacity and faking, by means of silence and pretending and by way of courageous -- yet erroneous -- efforts to inform the truth.
Truth-telling is on the middle of what's so much crucial in women's lives. it really is on the beginning of authenticity and creativity, intimacy and pleasure. but within the identify of ''honesty'', we will bludgeon one another. we will technique a tough factor with any such bad experience of timing and tact that we will really close down the traces of verbal exchange instead of widening the trail of truth-telling.
Sometimes Lerner's suggestion takes a stunning flip -- for instance, while she asks us to interact in a daring act of pretending so that it will notice whatever ''more real''; or while she tells us to not parachute down on our relatives to raise a ''hot issue'' with out laying the required foundation first.
Whether the topic is affairs, kinfolk secrets and techniques, sexual faking or the problem of ''being oneself'', Lerner is helping us to find, converse and dwell our personal truths.